At last Donald, Dux of the Aremoricans, completed his voyage and arrived in the Kingdom of the Angles, Saxons, Britons, Picts and Scots. Before he came ashore he made a pronouncement declaring that Saddic, Mayor of London, was a short man. Many marvelled at his insight, for this Saddic was indeed a short man. But what rashness! Had he only heeded the history of the Franks he would have learned that being short is not necessarily a bad thing in a mayor! When he arrived in Londinium, Donald was taken in a special carriage to the lodgings that had been prepared. He issued another pronouncement, for it was his custom to issue many such pronouncements, sometimes as many as thirty in a single day, some – they say – issued while he was on the privy. He declared that a tremendous crowd had thronged the approaches to his lodging. The Angles and others were confused by this, for hardly any had greeted Donald: only the Watch, a few locals, some men possessed by devils, and a young couple from Bromsgrove, who had got off the Tube a stop early by mistake and decided to walk.

Later on, he again appeared in public and the Angles, Saxons, Britons, Picts and Scots all gazed in wonder and confusion. To their dismay, Donald appeared to have arrived on a ship of fools, such were the people who surrounded him. Chief among this troupe were his children, about whom I must now tell you a little. Donald had had three wives, the third of whom, Impassivia, had accompanied him on his visit but the first had borne him two simple-minded sons whom he loved dearly. After the barbarous fashion of their land, these were called Billibob and Drooper. This wife also bore him a daughter, Catatonica, whom some said Donald loved more than was proper. Donald also brought his daughter Ignota, whom his second wife bore him, but he left in Aremorica his third son, whom he had with Impassivia. For reasons I do not know, this son had no name, only a title: Baron. In his train, too, were Catatonica’s husband, Jard, his finance minister Stephanus the Munchkin and Stephanus’ wife, Chlodovechia Lintonensia, a Pict by birth. Billibob and Drooper had both decided to grow beards, hoping that by looking like great warriors they would impress their hosts. All, however, concurred that they weren’t really pulling the look off. This was not to be the end of the Angles’ wonderment that day.