It gives me no pleasure to record the strife that afflicted the kingdom and the peoples of the Angles, Saxons, Britons, Picts, and Scots but if I do not, meagre though my talent is, who will set down these events for the instruction of future generations? After the departure of Donald, dux of the Aremoricans, for the Western Empire, about which I will tell you more at a later time, a great battle was fought at Peterburh. This was fought between the forces of Count Nigellus the Fool and those of Count Jeremiah, called Corbinus or ‘the Raven’ on account of the fact that he spent a lot of time sitting on a fence, as is also the custom among such birds. Most people had predicted Jeremiah’s forces to be shamefully put to flight, for Nigellus had chosen the site well. The people of that city had earlier favoured his faction and the local countess, a supporter of Corbinus, had been sent to prison for some chariot-related offence. However, as it turned out, the result was a narrow victory for the followers of Jeremiah. As was his wont, Nigellus had led from the rear and taken secretly to flight as soon as the result became clear. The main Chroniclers of the kingdom, however, spoke mostly unto Nigellus rather than the victor. They helped him, as they say, to ‘spin’ the result, saying, contrary to the truth, that the odds had been stacked against his forces and that his warriors had fought nobly and well. In fact they had been humbled because, as usual, they were characterised more by the sin of anger than prudence and rashness rather than skill, and had put their trust not in the Lord God of Battles but in the wisdom of some bloke called Dave from down the pub. This caused great ire even among the people who did not support Corbinus.