While these things were happening, in the city of York, a hole opened in the public street, big enough for a grown man to sit in. Some thought it a gate to Hell but those who were less rustic saw through this inane prattle.

Not long afterwards a similar hole was seen in the County of Durham. One of the count’s pueri[1] gazed into the hole and saw a stream flowing under the public street. The locals however continued with their business undeterred. Such was their rashness.

Some time later, in the city of Burton upon Trent, no fewer than three such portentous holes appeared in a single street in a period of only three weeks. The second of these was also big enough to stand in. This all happened during the election of Boris son of John, about which I will tell you later, but none heeded this portent, such were the sins of the people.

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[1] Retainers – Ed.