Now I must return to the sequence of my narrative. As I told you in an earlier chapter at the time that it was founded, the republic of the North Aremoricans, which is called the United States of Aremorica, contained many slaves who had, I am sorry to say, been stolen from the land of Africa. As I also related in that chapter, the Aremoricans fought their Bellum Civile quod et necnon Servile more than one hundred and fifty years ago, as a result of which the slaves were freed. Alas, although the institution of slavery was abolished, in theory at least, those of the North Aremoricans who were not descended from the European settlers continued to be treated very badly and of those the descendants of the African slaves worst of all, especially, about one hundred years ago, under the laws of Jacobus Corvus, who I believe might have been a consul of that republic.

Now, the Watch of the North Aremoricans treat the white people of that land with a great deal of restraint, especially those that are wealthy, which was why the apprehending of Donald’s friend Galfridus of Eppstein had come as a surprise to all and sundry. On the other hand, the Watch are most unjust and violent towards the black people of the land, the descendants of the African slaves. Indeed, they patrol the streets in large cohorts, armed to the teeth and appear to be able to do as they wish to these and other poor folk. Never was the question of the Satirist more relevant – quis custodiet ispsos custodes? – and never yet the answer more clear: absolutely bloody nemo, Juvenal, my old son. In the last years of the dux Obama the Watch had killed a number of black men and women and had gone unpunished, as had a local vigilante who had done the same. This latter occurred in the region which is called ‘the State of Flowers’ though in truth it seems a land of unbearable heat with many a swamp infested by large dangerous lizards which resemble the crocodiles of the Nile. The locals call these lizards ‘alligators’, which word means ‘lizards’, for they are unimaginative folk, but I digress. There had been great and righteous anger, which had led to a new movement for justice whose slogan was ‘vitae nigrorum honorem merent’. In this terrible year, which was the first of Boris son of John but the fourth of Donald dux, more such killings occurred and this movement grew in force, for now many, even among the white population, saw the evils that were being committed by the unsupervised watchmen. There were great protests across the land, like only unto a great and righteous rising up of the people.

Sadly, Donald dux was moved not to compassion but to fury by this and mustered his many followers, such as the colla rubra of the southern realms and the phalanxes of the pueri superbi. These wicked men responded to the chant of the protesters with the irrelevant antiphon vitae omnium honorem merent! Indeed, never had such a fatuous and immaterial slogan been chanted so frequently since the days of the Arians! Why, even I myself had it quoted at me, followed by the slur ‘asshole’, when I spoke against these fools on the Liber Vultus. ‘How apt, I replied, ‘that you refer to the orifice whence Arius spewed forth his life and intestines, o foolish man, like the ignorant white North Aremorican you are.’ Alas this did no good and, if anything, only made matters worse, for as a result Agiulf and I were excommunicated from the Liber Vultus for the span of a single day and a night, and our appeal fell upon deaf ears. At one point, in order to stir up trouble further, Donald called up the forces of the Republic and unleashed them upon the protesters. This made more violence where there had been none. The criers who proclaimed the propaganda of Donald and who belonged to a guild which he favoured, called Res Novae Vulpi, convinced many that the dux was keeping the peace like a good ruler while in fact the opposite was the case, and so this unfortunate people found itself divided yet further against itself. Yet, in some ways, alongside his foolish failure to combat the plague, this uprising was perhaps the beginning of the downfall of this wicked and ignorant man, or alternatively, of this latter-day Dadaist genius.